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Denial gives way to fight to preserve quality of life
I was at the doctor's office for a routine thyroid check when I mentioned to him that my left finger had begun to have a tremor. It was intermittent, and was not twitching at that moment.   "Jean," he began quietly, "a tremor on one side is not good. If you had tremors in both hands, I wouldn't be concerned."   He examined my hand carefully. It was swollen, and he told me he thought I had rheumatoid arthritis. To be sure, he set up appointments for me with a rheumatologist, an endocrinologist, and a neurologist. I went out to my car and sobbed.   I saw the neurologist last, and that's where I got the tentative diagnosis:   Parkinson's disease. My finger had a tremor and I didn't swing my arm when I walked. To rule out a brain tumor, I had an MRI. When that came back clear, the diagnosis was final: Parkinson's disease. I went out to my car, began to sob, and  phoned my husband to tell him the bad news.   My husband and I were in denial for months, but finally concluded the diagnosis was correct. After that, I remember going through the subsequent stages of grieving described in the right hand column. It is important to recognize that it takes some people longer than others to make it through to acceptance, and some never do. A couple of my family members have gotten 'stuck' in one stage or another and remain there four years later.   Needing to move on, I began searching the web for something that could help me. I wasn't going to just let this disease rob me of my life. There had to be something I could do to fight it!  top	Grieving for loss of a dream Learning that you have a progressive, debilitating, incurable disease like Parkinson’s feels a lot like being given a death sentence for a crime you did not commit. Coming to terms with this often requires the newly diagnosed — as well as their family and closest friends — go through the stages of grief identified by psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, an expert on death and dying. These are: Denial "No, not me." Overcoming denial requires taking a proactive approach. Anger "Why me?" Allow time to be angry, but recognize that you choose to empower yourself to live as near normal a life as you did before receiving your diagnosis, or remain trapped in the anger phase. Bargaining "Yes me, but… If you'll just make it go away, God, I'll . . ." Depression "Yes, me." Admitting your new reality often brings on depression. Acceptance After the initial shock has worn off, and you have passed through the stages of grieving, you are better prepared to face reality calmly.     top

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